The Giant Pants Party.

The day was tuesday, the weather, fierce mild… as i stepped out onto the landing platform… people were baffled with the awesomeness of my… pants? as the party of giant pants formed themself into an elephant i realised they were the pants of businessmen and grey and boring the world away…

So! with my rainbow sword i sliced the businessphant into a million little pengiuns… destined to roam iceland with nothing but hope and chinese whispers….

as i stood there with all of my people, getting them to scream if they were with me… we led the onslaught to the strip bar… i mean… shopping centre *-) and then i had lunch with Caitie… Jay… as we listened to fake tales of san francisco murmur through the air we heavily extended the metaphor til it got minesweepered up…

but then… i got attacked by captain grammar, as she threw a paper aeroplane invitation to the GPP at me, and said, “i know, the title alone, is pretty amazing, but wait til you hear what happens, your here, in finland, wherever, and someone walks into the town and starts talking trash, just because someone isn’t wearing any pants… then he tries to get in someone else pants at the same time as them, and it all ends it leprechauns”

Amazed. At this revelation, i quickly hopped on my unicycle and rode right out of the particle collider, my story was emitting far too many photons, which i had to stop, so i rode to the HiPER centre, away from captain grammer and her yellow spandex outfit…

although, as i was changing my tire i realised this was the wrong way to go about it and instead decided to power my unicycle using cold fusion methods… using my fishing line i catapulted myself back into a slightly less absurd reality

landing on some dolphins i aplogised and swam to swan lake, upon where i danced a girl out of the party, we ran off into the night but stayed close so we coluld linger with a little stolen music and finish the dance….

so i was talking to kassia and she told me she was on top of a train, which i found quite odd as i was talking to her on a camera phone using video call and she looked like she was in her underground  aquarium home that she parties at, but, alas, she was a leprechaun.

and then the papers said she go attacked by a bull and severely mauled… but at the end of the story it said “but she was just having a bad dream… really she’s okay“

~ by Ben Pyman on 7 October, 2008.